The Stubborn Dog Narrative
Why owners think their dog is stubborn
I regularly hear comments like these from dog owners:
"My dog knows it, he's just stubborn and doesn't listen unless he wants to."
"I've tried training, but she's so stubborn it doesn't work."
"He's really stubborn, so he's hard to train."
And calling a dog stubborn rubs me the wrong way, partly because it's so often used as justification for abusive, punishment-based training methods (how many shock collars have the word “stubborn” on the packaging?), and partly because it's often not true.
The vast majority of these so-called "stubborn" dogs are just dogs who haven't been trained (or trained well). The remaining are dogs who are very confident and tolerant of punishment, willing to take the pain of a shock if it means they can steal that steak off the counter. Neither of these is the dog's fault, and neither is even especially problematic.
Why owners like believing their dog is stubborn
But so often I find that owners really love the notion that their dog is stubborn. Even when shown their dog actually listens very well with proper training, they continue to insist that their dog is stubborn. People do this for a few different reasons:
They can't admit that they aren't good trainers or handlers. It can't possibly be their fault, so it must be the dog!
It allows them to abuse their dog without guilt.
It's a great 'out' for not working on the dog's behavior issues. Why even bother if the dog is just too stubborn to train?
Stubborn isn’t a bad trait.
Sometimes dogs ARE stubborn - and that’s okay! Stubbornness can be a really great trait in a dog. A cattle dog who isn’t stubborn isn’t going to be great at moving cattle. A livestock guardian dog who isn’t stubborn will give up chasing the coyotes off after the first attempt and will let the livestock get eaten. Take a seeing eye dog who’s ignoring the handler’s commands to move forward - because he sees there’s a car coming. That’s being stubborn - but it’s also really great. Stubbornness is a valued trait in many working dogs - they have to know when to dig their heels in and stick to their guns.
“But he knows it!”
I hear this often when working with clients who are frustrated that their dog “knows” something but won’t do it reliably. Usually the scenario is some variation of this:
Owner: Max ran out the front door and wouldn't come back. And he KNOWS come! He comes all the time, but only if he feels like it.
Me: That's great that he knows come. Can you walk me through how you taught him to come and how you practice?
Owner: ….
Me: Do you think he really knows what 'come' means or do you think he just sometimes happens to come when you talk to him in a happy voice while holding a treat when you're standing in the kitchen? Have you practiced ‘come’ outside in the front yard with the neighbor kids riding their bikes up and down the sidewalk?
Owner: ….
Here’s the thing - if a dog isn't reliably performing the task in a variety of environments with a variety of distractions, they don't know it well. They may sort of know it in one specific context, but that doesn't mean they can do a more advanced version of that command. It's like saying that because a child can do simple addition that they should be able to do calculus. After all, they know math, right??
Just because a dog will come in the house while you’re shaking a bag of treats, doesn’t mean they know come well enough to be called off a running deer while off leash in the forest. It means the dog isn’t as well trained as the owner believes, not that the dog is stubborn.
Moral of the story
Your dog may not actually be stubborn. There may be other things happening. But maybe they ARE stubborn - and aren’t you lucky to have such a confident, smart dog? Having a dog with a big personality is a gift, and we shouldn’t treat them cruelly because of their innate character