Don't Sit for Pets

I despise the entire notion of "the dog must sit for pets." Genuinely hate it with a passion. I never make my dogs sit for pets. I think it's a stupid, terrible idea for several reasons.

REMOVING THE OPTION TO LEAVE

Basically, by forcing dogs to sit for pets, you're removing their option to leave should they become uncomfortable with the interaction.

Let me tell you a story. Years ago, I was in a pet store with my dog, Gauge. Gauge was super friendly and confident, never met a person he didn't love. Think of that stereotypical lab personality. That's him.

Two kids approached and asked if they could pet him. Being the super friendly guy he is, I said sure, and these kids were ALL OVER HIM. One is petting his tail, the other is patting the top of his head, then moves on to hugging him, kissing him, the works. While they're rambunctiously and annoyingly petting him, they're also loudly telling him what a good boy he is. He was fine with this for a minute, but then he wasn't. And what did he do when he wasn't? He clearly and pointedly stepped away from them. That was my cue that he was done.

But what if I'd forced him to sit so he couldn't escape? It could have escalated to a growl, aggressive bark, or snap. Even if it didn't, and he was able to tolerate the situation, it would not have been a pleasant encounter for him. The last thing I want to do to my dogs is give them bad experiences with kids. He needs to have the opportunity to walk away.

And that's with a friendly, social dog. Imagine a less confident dog, a dog less sure of new people, being forced to sit and endure petting from a stranger. It's a recipe for disaster, and it's not fair to the dog, who will likely be labelled as aggressive if they can't cope with the stressful situation and growl or snap to stop the interaction.

IT DOESN’T TEACH THE DOG NOT TO JUMP

What this force-free method attempts to teach is that asking for a sit will stop jumping.

“A dog can’t jump and sit at the same time!”

“Ask for what you DO want rather than punishing what you don’t!”‍ ‍

But what it actually teaches the dog is that a sit is rewarded with pets. It doesn’t teach the dog that jumping isn’t allowed. That’s a very important distinction to your dog.

Let's go along with this poor training method for a second. Let's imagine how this scenario would play out:

My dog is approached by someone who starts petting them. What am I supposed to do? Scream at them to not touch her because I have to tell her to sit first? And then spend several minutes trying to lure her into a sit with food — because remember, this is force-free, so I can't negatively reinforce sit, I must wait until she decides to sit on her own, if she does at all — while the person is standing there awkwardly? Truthfully, she’ll want the person more than she wants food. Anyway, then she sits, they pet her… and she jumps and we start all over? This is beyond tedious and very frustrating and unclear for my dog, who still doesn’t understand that JUMPING ISN'T ALLOWED. She’s trying to have a lovely interaction with a new friend and I keep shoving food in her face and demanding a sit. How annoying.

What am I supposed to do when I have company over for hours? Instruct people that they are never to touch my dog whilst she is standing? They now are responsible for my dog's behavior? I personally don't think anyone else should have to train my dogs — that's my job.

What happens when they stop petting her and then she jumps? Or they don't want to pet her but she's jumping up so now there’s no reward for sitting?

Yes, jumping can be annoying. But always demanding a sit first isn’t going to fix it.

What is far, far more effective and clear to the dog? Punish jumping. (Punishment is very nuanced and dog-dependent, so have a discussion with your trainer about how to punish it. I won’t go into details on the many ways to punish jumping here.)

That's it. They learn very quickly they can do literally anything else except jump up. You don't need to turn each greeting into a massive, frustrating training session or hyper-fixate on sits. Just punish jumping. It's really that easy. They will still happily greet people, just without the jumping.

NO, YOUR DOG DOES NOT NEED TO 'EARN' PETTING

Some people demand a sit for literally everything because they think the dog should earn it. I call bullshit. Dogs should never need to earn love, affection, or food. Neither should children. That's such a terrible, transactional relationship to have with someone you already have complete control over. Also, forcing a sit first removes all the authenticity and genuineness of the interaction. I personally hate it and won't pet dogs who are forced to sit.

WANT HELP?

Want real, practical dog training help? I'm based in Spokane, WA and offer private training (in person and online) as well as in-home training and Homeschool.