WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Recently a new puppy owner asked me for advice. They were frustrated that their puppy got into everything, and especially liked to carry around their shoes. They wanted to train their puppy to never touch anything that wasn’t theirs. I knew these pet parents also had kids, so I asked them what they did when their kids were toddlers and got into things. Suddenly they understood and said they’d just keep their stuff put away and keep a better eye on the puppy.

Sometimes pet parents overthink things and make things way more complicated than they need to be. And it’s always funny to me when the overthinking pet parents are also actual parents. They’ll ask me things like, “What do I do when my puppy is getting wild and out of control?” I’ll ask them what they did when their child was 2 and doing very similar things. And the lightbulb would click on.

It’s really not a big secret. If a nap is going to help an overstimulated toddler, why wouldn’t it help your overstimulated puppy? But people think we need to train this 3-month-old puppy a bunch of advanced, complex skills when all the puppy needs is a nap.

HOW DO I GET MY DOG TO STOP BARKING SO MUCH?

Well, how would you get your toddler to stop screaming so much? To be a little quieter? You’d probably start gently teaching them about indoor voices and when it’s appropriate to be loud, but you’d also understand that toddlers are just loud. They don’t have great impulse control, and when they have big emotions they wear them on their sleeves. Just like many dogs.

You’d also be asking yourself questions like, “Does my kid need a nap? Are they overstimulated? Are they bored or frustrated and tired of being cooped up? Do they just need to run and play outside for a bit? Go do something fun to entertain them? Have a snack? Have an adult sit with them and model emotional regulation? Has it just been a really long day? Are they super excited?”

HOW DO I GET MY PUPPY TO STOP CHEWING THINGS UP?

Well, how would you handle a 2-year-old getting into your makeup and making a big mess and ruining expensive cosmetics? You’d probably figure out a way to keep your little one away from your makeup. Maybe you’d close a bedroom/bathroom door or put up a baby gate. Maybe you’d put your makeup in a drawer, and maybe even add a child lock to that drawer. It would be really foolish to just leave your makeup within your toddler’s reach and expect them to not get into it. You’d also provide them with a fun, child-friendly alternative.

It’s the same with dogs. Just put your stuff away and make sure they have their own fun things to chew on. It isn’t hard.

HOW DO I GET MY DOG TO STOP DEMANDING ATTENTION?

“My dog always paws at me/grabs my arm/ jumps/barks to get attention. How do I make her stop?” How would you teach a toddler to stop demanding attention by yelling, grabbing your clothes, or hitting you?

You’d simply teach them how to ask nicely and how to handle being told, “Not right now.” You probably wouldn’t just give your toddler the cold shoulder and turn your back until they guessed at what you were doing and what you wanted. You wouldn’t yell at your child or spray them in the face with water.

You’d also appreciate the fact that they have an innate desire for your attention and contact, and that isn’t a bad thing. At some point it may stop and then you’ll miss it.

HOW DO I KEEP MY DOG FROM RUNNING OFF?

How would you handle a toddler in a fun place who keeps getting excited and running off? You’d probably hold their hand, use a child harness, or put them in a stroller or wagon to keep them close and safe. You wouldn’t just let them dash around on their own at DisneyLand while you stood there and watched from afar. You’d be especially careful if you know your child is prone to excitedly dashing off.

It’s the same thing with dogs. If you know they won’t stay close, keep them on leash.

HOW DO I KEEP MY DOG FROM STEALING FOOD OFF THE COUNTER?

What would you do if your toddler climbed up on the counter trying to grab a cookie from the cooling rack? You’d probably get them down and then move the cookies off the counter where they’re a temptation. Or just keep a closer eye on the kid while the cookies are down or put up a baby gate to keep them out of the kitchen for a bit. It would be really unreasonable to expect a young child to leave them alone for hours or days, even when unsupervised, just like it would be unreasonable to expect a dog to not take food that’s left out.

Just put it away.

KEEP IT SIMPLE

Keep it simple and ask yourself what you would do if your dog was a toddler because there are a lot of similarities. You may not need to do a bunch of training, you may just need to manage the environment and your expectations. Be patient, be kind, and keep it simple.